Oscars barely there

Let’s just put it out there and get passed it…there were a lot of boobies out last night.  Literally out there for all to see.  And it wasn’t pretty my friends.  Next to that were a few hot messes and a lot of boredom for this suburban mom trying to live vicariously through the stars.

Penelope Cruz has always been a secret crush of mine because she maintains a fabulous figure, is always smiling and dresses with such style.  Except for last night at the Oscars.  I love her dress from the floor up to the breast line.  Above that border was was too much exposure.  Baby brain perhaps, Penelope?

Had the neckline not plunged so far below I think this would have been my top pick for the outfits last night. Penelope your top was barely there.

Another miss, again, is Rita Wilson.  I don’t even know what to say about this hot mess other than it’s not her first, sadly. However a few points for a fabulous handbag.  Unfortunately too much for the dress as the two fought for attention.  Stylist on strike? Rita…your mind is barely there.

Then there is Nicole in Dior haute couture no less.  Her dress looks as confused as she.  At least she chose understated jewelry so as not to compete with everything else going on.  Your red carpet look is barely there.

Sorry ladies.  Better luck next time.